The Turnstone Syndrome - By Terry Oatley

Some six months after Nyasaland became an independent state and called itself Malawi, my wife and I went there on a holiday. One of our destinations was Nkata Bay, on the northwest shore of Lake Malawi. While we were there, the lake steamer arrived on its fortnightly schedule and everybody who was anybody thronged the large, floating wooden jetty. In a newly independent country, politics is an important topic and we overheard a conversation in which one resident endeavoured to explain the intricacies of politics to somebody that he had maybe just met. “To know politics” he explained, “you have to know English!” He enlarged on this statement at some length and then added, “But in South Africa the white man speaks another language. It is Aff, af, afree, afrikanz! Yes, and if you can speak Afrikanz, then you REALLY know politics!”
In 1964, that was a perceptive viewpoint. But the truth of his initial statement has endured, and today’s politicians need to be conversant with English when addressing the media, especially if they wish to achieve international exposure for their pronouncements.
Have you noticed how our public figures seldom miss an opportunity to employ idiom and metaphor when addressing the media in English? This tendency is particularly prevalent among those whose home language is not English. Under such circumstances, the fact that they have learnt to converse in what is not the easiest of languages is commendable—and what better way to express their familiarity with the language than to trot out the odd idiom. Every language has its own idiom, closely linked to its cultural heritage. However, although one can be conversant with languages other than ones own, trotting out foreign idiom may result in misunderstanding (or even insult) if one is not fully acquainted with the relevant cultures.
Some of the best computer programs commissioned by ministries to translate texts from their own language into a chosen other language and back again have proved unable to handle idiom. An English-Russian-English program, for example, when tested with the phrase ‘Out of sight, out of mind’, responded with ‘Invisible and insane’.
When using metaphors there is also always the risk of mixing them up a little. A couple of prime examples will suffice. In answer to the question “How will you respond if your Party loses this by-election?” a spokesperson replied “We will burn that bridge when we get to it!” and (in blithe response to a torrent of protest over a previous utterance) another party stalwart said, “It runs off my back like duck’s water!”
In such off-the-cuff comments speakers are apt to get things a little mixed, or to say something hilarious when they did not intend to be humorous. On SAFM news one morning a few years ago, it was reported that condoms ordered for issue to school learners were of a size too large for teen-agers. Consequently it might increase the risk of HIV transference and pregnancy rather than reduce it. The concerned Doctor who had brought the matter to the notice of the relevant authorities concluded his sound-byte with the comment “You must have the right tool for the job, you know!”
Then there is what I call the Turnstone syndrome. The Turnstone is a migrant visitor to our shores, a small wading bird that may be seen running along the water’s edge, one of the several species collectively called Strandlopers in Afrikaans. Turnstones have broad and slightly upturned beaks, well adapted for prying under stones to uncover the small creepy-crawlies on which they feed. These birds are widespread in Europe, and may well have provided the example for the English cliche so often used in our crime-ridden country by those in charge of our safety and security—“No stone will be left unturned in the search for the perpetrators of this crime”. One wonders whether parliamentarians and their spokespersons might make less use the phrase if they were aware of the comment by ancient Greek playwright and satirist Aristophanes: “Under every stone lurks a politician.”
Leave no tern un-stoned
A different group of coastal seabirds are called terns. There are several look-alike species that are difficult for novice birders to identify with confidence, and at birder get-togethers the facetious comment “Leave no tern un-stoned” is often made. Sooner or later some political spokesperson is going to inadvertently commit this transposition of noun and adjective to pronounce that ‘‘no turn will be left un-stoned”—in the context of a drugs bust, it might even be appropriate.
Another much hackneyed phrase takes the form of “The fact of the matter is”. This argumentative statement is employed by English speakers from all walks of life, but especially by politicians who want to shout down the opposition. The ‘fact’ is often not a fact at all, but a personal opinion and it is as well to bear in mind that somebody using the phrase is often wrong, even at the top of his or her voice. But gullible people may well buy the argument. As George W. Bush is alleged to have said to his staff “You can fool some of the people all the time—and those are the ones you need to concentrate on.”

Older generations of English people like myself seldom have problems with foreign idiom. This is because, as an old German joke (translated) puts it: If a man speaks three languages, he is trilingual; if he speaks two languages he is bilingual; if he only speaks one language, he is English!